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Past or future, my Janus has nothing to offer | Self-portrait © David Noir

Journal des Parques J-27

Nausea. Saturation. Nothing to offer.

Enjoying the daisies

I have to get rid of budgetary issues that are poisoning, as much as they are imprisoning, my brain. My head has been in a vice that has been tightening for two full days. It also works at night. Yet I'm not usually prone to migraines. It's important to make sure that the anxiety caused by the limits doesn't ruin or stop the project altogether due to lack of endurance. All kinds of limits:

Physical capacities, resistance, imagination, fragile beliefs, feasibility, finances, duels within one's own team; emotional deficiencies, daily life taken over by work, without support or relief; difficulties in making oneself understood, administrative hassles, management of the company, the very content of what one does; answers to everything else, both material and intellectual... and the most formidable limit of all: that of fluctuating self-confidence, in one's physical and moral reflection. Is this the lot of everyone, you may think? I would retort that it is like salt, a matter of concentration so that it either enhances the taste of things or makes them bitterly unfit for consumption.

Convince incessantly; explain. Why do it? Against the background of a world where changes seem to be ever more violent, where what seemed to be taken for granted can be taken back at any time, where freedom of being is not a de facto right, what sense does it make to fight on a nanoscale to make one's voice heard and express one's views through an artistic form?

A grain of sand on an infinite coastline, sometimes all it takes is a ripple, a splash of foam, to be swept out to sea without making any more fuss than that.

Aborted creation is a non-event; except perhaps in the case of "geniuses", studied as unknown species would be by biologists. Why be interested in what does not happen, badly or with difficulty? Would we learn anything from it? Strangely enough, yes, as far as I am concerned; it is certainly from what doesn't happen, from what doesn't reach maturity or with so much difficulty that the journey seems too painful not to contain a part of failure, that I learn the most. It must be said that when things are done and perfect, they are, to my taste, very rarely successful. Real talent is too rare for the bulk of what comes out of art to be anything other than a plethora of vulgarly interpreted and manufactured objects that pass for inventiveness. We're content with that, well. It makes facebook work, nice.

The creation that happens and, one might say, flourishes, represents little more, in percentage terms at least, than that which fails. A few well-maintained lighthouses recurrently light up the landscape; others suddenly appear from time to time, and this is enough for the world without having to look elsewhere. However much we may want, if we are to believe appearances, to leave behind the all-powerful phallic and pyramidal model, to extend towards the network and the weaving of multiply relayed nerve centres, it seems that this is still quite resistant at the edges and that we need, despite all the attempts at autonomy, 'fathers and mothers' to glorify, to haunt our imaginations. Media communication, including the most 'erudite', is deliberately promotional and always seizes with such delight on the headliners and creators put forward by the market. It must be said that the public likes it, all social and cultural classes included. Everyone, at his or her own level, would be baffled to have no more ready to eat to guide him in his choices. Putting on his little backpack and going on the road, in addition to his overloaded schedule, in search of rare pearls to unearth outside museums and theatres, to satisfy his appetite for art, seems today difficult to achieve for the amateur. Having no one; no media more present than another to create urgencies to see, to read, to live, would however perhaps give him, in addition to a holiday from his eternal social circle, again a little time to stop at the roadside and appreciate the daisies.

Extinguish the urge to "satisfying in all respects". has always seemed to me to be a decisive urgency. This is one of the reasons why I have nothing to offer that will satisfy you perfectly.

Come: to see. Leave: without saying anything. Think about it: whatever you like.

A well-made diet should always leave a little hunger in the stomach. In my house: belt. Much seems accessible, but very little is consumable. Most of my décor and body is plastic; beware of imitations.

Alienation in the wanting to please is even worse than the already so consequential primary necessity of having to create your own oxygen from scratch; since no other, elsewhere, can completely keep you alive. I see no other reason for the creation of art. It is not a gift of self to the world, but a Cathar rampart against the invading crusaders.

David Noir

David Noir, performer, actor, author, director, singer, visual artist, video maker, sound designer, teacher... carries his polymorphous nudity and his costumed childhood under the eyes and ears of anyone who wants to see and hear.

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. VIP

    Courage sailor!

  2. David Noir

    Row hard! Sir yes sir!

  3. Rém Vach

    What do you think, handsome, that we'll give you the ready-made meal 😉
    To be the master of one's destiny, one has to do double duty and more.
    Against all odds, keep going, you're almost there.

  4. Jean-Pierre Gryson

    We're not giving up, Captain!
    In the flat calm, we can no longer manoeuvre the ship. Whereas the storm, if it does not sink us, it damages us, but makes us sail far, very far from the route traced on the map, towards the unknown where we want to get lost...
    Moussaillon

  5. Patrick Speck

    I like the image of the "Grain of Sand on the Coast ......with a wavelet", just one, to make it disappear and merge with all the others.... and no longer Appear-Different.....In fact, this Difference after which all the "icônoclasts" and "marginals" run...is.... no more and no less, (and well beyond Insubordination) ......than a Survival....a Desperate Search ....and try to quench this unquenchable-thirst-of-"Truth"...
    This is not free, it means something even more Vital than Life....est important is not necessarily to Know Why....? !
    If you stop along the way, it can be harder to get back on track; stay on course....and Shit!

    1. David Noir

      I totally agree with your point of view on this notion of "difference" which is just the obvious, visible manifestation of survival efforts. I'm surprised that people often only see it as "originality", whereas it doesn't seem to me to be very difficult to see that we are struggling, but trying to do a little more than just keep our heads above water. Drinking the cup is pretty much unavoidable when you're talking while swimming, when you want to be heard with your chin at sea level. It is inevitably a scream. It's so obvious to see yourself as a castaway (which doesn't mean you're not doing anything), that I'm amazed that so few people accept to recognize themselves in this image. It would be quite a strength, though, because that would be quite a lot of people in the end. I sometimes have the image in reverse, of those millions of baby turtles instinctively heading for the sea, playing like mad, their one chance in ten thousand to be spared the beak of a sea bird. To each his own shoreline to reach; we'll see anyway 🙂

  6. David Noir

    Thank you all for your encouragement in a marine mood! I'm hoisting the sail and putting the steam back on; you can never have too much ... well as the other guy says. Full steam ahead!

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